Monday, October 19, 2009

Jumping Ship

Open your eyes
Wake up chained to train tracks
Over a nameless river
With blurred murky banks
Encased in a steel car
Designed to hurtle you
To where you should be

Your seat is surgically clean
A stranger on the intercom says
It’s carrying you back to the city you once called home
(Remember to be grateful)

The water below makes a show of behaving
Glint, flow, glisten, reflect
Hide all that lies below the surface
With a smooth sheet of impossible blue

Your mother calls to make sure you’ve boarded
Make sure you’ve followed instruction
Her voice pounds a cadence
Count your change, count your blessings
(Remember to be grateful)

Now the water beckons
Every motionless inch of the vast entity
Begs for your body
To send ripples tearing
Through its monotony
‘Aren’t you tired of looking down upon freedom
From your platform pedestal?’

Your father sends a message
Imploring you to look at the trees
Note the season’s beauty goldorangered
(Remember to be grateful)

The water feels crisp
Enveloping your weight
This cold welcome still warmer than home
Embodying your vacillation
Swaying back and forth
It can’t guarantee a destination
Or estimate a time of arrival
But from where you’re floating
Belly to the sky
You’ve never been more grateful
So open your eyes
You’ve never felt more real


I dreamt a crooked smile
Felt ocean air escape through
New York prison pavement
Heard the purr of a Cheshire cat
Under the hard surface
It sent me across the country
Chasing an elusive trail of your freckles
A map I found imprinted on the shoulders of strangers
Found your address scribbled into trees
Where leaves fell around my feet
Bursting into flames
Soon I felt the creak of your door
Shaking the surface of my skin
Reverberating in my brain
An empty echo in an empty room
You were gone from this place too
But my blood was still running
My heartbeat indifferent
So I stripped your walls of my memory
Claimed every piece of me
That I deemed salvageable
Balled it up and swallowed down

Fell asleep in a new city
She looked me in the eyes
And made peace in my bones


Falling in love with you
Hurt no better and no worse
Than crawling out of it does now

Shaky sick stomach feeling
On your broken basement bed
Clenching hands and panicked thoughts
As we feverishly held each other

The same ache stirred in solitude
Clock claims we’ve run our course
Clenching fists and panicked thoughts
As we desperately hold our composure

Is this really the escaping of a dream?
No fluttering hopes slipping between fingers
Just a futile grasp scraping for remains
Of an idea long lost to apathy
Who crept in all cunning and cruel
Rendering this a terminal abandonment

Irreparable, yet I still remember a time
When our ignorant throats sang in bliss

Wednesday, October 7, 2009


I'm so excited for Halloween already! Every year i dress up as someone that i wanted to be when i was younger (or now) and/or have a serious crush on. Right now i'm deciding between either Jessica Rabbit or Princess Leia.

THEY ARE BOTH SO GOOD and would be fun costumes. I would just do them both on different days but they really deserve their own years.. even though I basically stay in costume for almost full 2 weeks surrounding actual Halloween haha. maybe I'll get/make both anyway and then decide.